Roughly once a year, I pull out my now worn and faded copy of Bridget Jones’s Diary. Okay, I have an electronic edition but
roughly once a year, I open my PDF of Bridget Jones’s Diary in Preview
just doesn’t ring. #Technology #Depressing. Anyway, I then send a friend one of the many incredible quotes I have highlighted, setting off a panicky email exchange consisting exclusively of lines from the book. This typically ends [Spoiler Alert] with us resolving to lose weight which [Spoiler Alert] we don’t. Only to renew the cycle in roughly a year.
I know, I know, it’s such a cliche. A couple of youngish, chubbyish, unfulfilled single girls brandishing the book like our very own Bible, but did you ever think there might be a reason for that? There’s something so nice about having a romantic heroine who articulates all of your insecurities and woes. Reading those conversational, subject-less diary entries, always makes me feel a little less crazy (if a bit predictable). Not only is she me, but she ends up with a modern day Mr. Darcy. Sigh. A girl can dream….
Subject: Bridget Jones
————————
From: Me
To: Friend
“I am a child of Cosmopolitan culture, have been traumatized by supermodels and too many quizzes and know that neither my personality nor my body is up to it if left to its own devices. I can’t take the pressure.”
I don’t remember writing this, but I definitely wrote this…
———-
From: Friend
To: Me
“Now, though, I feel ashamed and repulsive. I can actually feel the fat splurging out from my body. Never mind. Sometimes you have to sink to a nadir of toxic fat envelopment in order to emerge, phoenix-like, from the chemical wasteland as a purged and beautiful Michelle Pfeiffer figure. Tomorrow new Spartan health and beauty regime will begin.”
This perfectly explains my day-to-day thought process. how depressing. haha.
———-
From: Me
To: Friend
Ha! At least we’re not alone/crazy. K maybe a little crazy…
“I looked at him nonplussed. I realized that I have spent so many years being on a diet that the idea that you might actually need calories to survive has been completely wiped out of my conscious- ness. Have reached point where believe nutritional ideal is to eat nothing at all and that the only reason people eat is because they are so greedy they cannot stop themselves from breaking out and ruining their diets.”
———-
From: Friend
To: Me
hahaha. oh how this book relates to our lives.
———-
From: Friend
To: Me
Diet starts tomorrow. not kidding. bridget jones is motivating me to do so. must not end up an ugly old hag. haha. i’m going to email you daily with my successes!
———-
From: Me
To: Friend
I love it! Will do same. Hope to be v. g.!
[Spoiler alert] I wasn’t v.g. (Jones speak for “very good”). In fact I was pretty freaking b. I think I had a huge glass of wine and like two bowls of ice cream that night. How very Bridget of me.
anti.hero.ine 